Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Bedtime Battle

We are doing battle at home. So far Mo 0, Mom 2. On Monday I had decided that Mo was a year old and therefore could start going to bed on time (my time) and that by doing so he should sleep better.

We had tried this before, but Mo was sick and I could only here so much coughing and wheezing before I rescued him. This was also brought on by the fact that the last few weeks when he started getting sleepy, he would refuse to cuddle and get away from me and start playing to keep himself up.

He started trying to escape and play on Monday night. So after jammies and teeth brushing, he gave daddy a kiss and I took him downstairs. I sang the evening prayer, and one verse of Goodnight my Love. Then when I asked if he wanted to say his prayers he immediately clasped his hands. He still thought this was all a cute game. But when the prayer was over, I left and he cried. Luckily for the rest of us, Kaia and Dana were watching Cars and had the surround sound on (there was no hearing him!). After a half an hour of on and off crying he was fast asleep.

Last night Mo knew what was coming. He gave daddy kisses, but was not happy when I took him into the bedroom. I tried singing the songs to him. He alternated between trying to climb out of my arms, and begging to be picked back up when I'd put him in his crib for the rest of the song. He was crying through his prayer and screamed a bit when I left. He was asleep within a half an hour once again.

He's not sleeping straight through the night yet, but definitely sleeping better now that he's going to bed on time.

In other news Morgan now has the joy of riding in a front facing child seat and Kaia gets to ride in a big girl booster seat. Mom is loving the separation this brings. No more fighting over the shade on Mo's rear facing seat or Kaia jerking his thumb out of his mouth. Sibling rivalry starts young!

Friday, April 20, 2007

The Count Down Begins

Less than 12 hours and my baby will be one year old! It is so hard to imagine that a year has passed, and yet I have a hard time believing there was a time we didn't have Mo.

It really hit me yesterday at the end of our LFCC meeting. It was after our application review meeting last year that I went in to see my midwife Tammy. It was my due date and I was swollen, I was tired, I was done being pregnant. Luckily for me my blood pressure had also skyrocketed. She ran to the phone, called maternity, and got permission to admit me for induction. They saved the last bed. So I went back to work, cleaned up my desk and told everyone I'd see them in about 4 weeks. I went home, finished packing my bag and waited for Dana to arrive. We arrived at the hospital and got checked in.

Once in my room they checked me to find that I still was not effaced and only dialated to a 3. The plan was to break my water so labor would start. That plan didn't work so well, because they simply couldn't do it, because I wasn't effaced. So just like with Kaia I was started on pitocin. Kaia came to visit with Grammy and Papa, but the machines hooked up to me scared her, and she wanted to leave.

I was just on pitocin until close to 5 when they were able to break my water. That's when the fun started. The contractions became strong, and I had the anesthesiologist come up and give me my epidural. After Kaia I knew that if I couldn't go natural, I would not have any drugs only the epi. I was very thankful once it was in. Especially thankful that he allowed my husband and cousin to stay in the room (and maybe my mom and aunt I can't really remember what time they arrived). My cousin helped me focus and relax while he put it in.

Labor was just sit and wait after that. My mom, aunt, cousin and Dana and I sat and chatted. When Survivor came on, we put that on. My midwife came in to visit and see some of the show. I remember her sitting and having a popcicle with me. As the evening wore on I was finally getting close, but Mo was sunnyside up. So she made several attempts to turn him to face the right direction. He moved back each time. About 11 my cousin and mom went outside to wait, and the pushing started. I was awake and alert, unlike with Kaia, so I knew everytime there was a contraction and I needed to push. It was much harder than with Kaia and took longer because he refused to turn. Especially right at the end, when Tammy did everything she could to keep me from having another episiotomy. It was hard knowing he was almost out, and not pushing so she could very slowly work his (big) head out. At 12:10 a.m. Friday morning, he arrived. He was a little purple from his ordeal. He screamed at us for disturbing his nice warm home which I believe he planned to live in until college. But it was a wonderful sound. He was 8 pounds 8 ounces and 20 inches long, with bowed legs from being cramped.

After I was cleaned up (and no stitches!!!!) Mom and Kristin came back in to hold him. We all agreed he was beautiful, and that he looked like Kaia only a bit darker. I can't imagine how they managed through work that day with so little sleep, but they did. I got almost no sleep, but still felt ok the next day in the hospital, and slept a bit better Friday night. Friday morning Kaia got to meet her new brother when Grammy and Papa came to meet their newest grandson. Kaia got her present from Morgan (a Nemo backpack) and she got to give him the gift from her (a Harley Davidson cap and socks) My dad came in early and took a few photos before heading back to work on the first floor. I got to spend another night and for that I was thankful. Saturday morning we went home, our family was complete.

It was an amazing experience. Both times. While I'll never experience it again, I will always relish the memories.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Good things

Today I'm very glad I have my tubes tied. Actually in a way I'm not. I was at Jon and Ann's blog reading her labor story (today is the anniversary of her due date). I got to the end, and wanted to cry. It was so touching reading through every detail with her. My stories were never as exciting, but remembering how I felt and how wonderful it was to give birth all those feelings came flooding back. Then I realized, I will never do that again and it's sad in a way.

If I didn't have my tubes tied, I think I would truly be crazy enough to beg Dana to let us have another. And if he was crazy enough to agree.... (he's not) all would be wonderful until reality hit me. I would realize another child was on the way and probably need to be committed. Our two are more than enough for me to handle.

I think that Mo's first birthday occurring just a few days from now helps these feelings grow. My baby is a toddler. And before I know it he will be a preschooler. I still can't believe how grown up Kaia seems. Using adult phrases like "mommy do you think it's safe for me to ride in this car?" How she came up with that I will never know. So it's hard to give up the baby years, but I'm looking forward to my kids growing up and becoming more independent.

That still leaves me with these feelings and what to do about them. Maybe I'll become a surrogate, but probably not. I am still considering becoming a doula, although not right at this moment. As the kids grow up a little more, I could take the classes, become certified, and help moms-to-be through their labor. It's an idea I keep coming back to, so maybe in the next few years I'll have a second job. One that would be exciting and fulfilling.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Tree Won!

Oops! Rode my ATV right into a branches of a tree. This is after 4 days of healing.You can barely see the scratches on my face and neck.