Monday, July 12, 2010

Poopy Pants

This weekend has led Dana and I to the breaking point, which could also be called the screaming point, or the "this kid will have to be home schooled for the rest of his life" point.  Morgan has been fully pee trained for a long while now, but he will not poop in the potty.

As if having spent the last 7 years of our life changing diapers wasn't bad enough, we are now changing diapers on 2 babies and cleaning poop several times a day out of Mo's rear and pants.  It is gross!  He knows when he needs to go, he knows how to go, but he chooses to do it in his pants.  He does this even after long conversations about how he cannot poop in his swimming trunks, and if he feels like he needs to poop, he should come inside and get on the potty.

We implemented the lose 5 toys each time you poop your pants rule on Saturday after the 2nd set of poopy underwear.  I took away 20 toys Saturday.  Another 10 on Sunday, and I think I may still need to take a way another 5. 

We also said no to anything Mo wanted at Fred Meyer and later at Wal-Mart.  If he wants any toy, movie, game... he will poop in the potty.  He also needs to stay out of Dana's and my bed.  7 days is all he has to complete to earn a toy.  I think however his room will be empty before then.

We've tried so many different things, and so far, nothing has worked. We are going to be taking an overnight trip this week, and poopy pants are not going to be easy to deal with. Anyone have any good advice? 


Barb said...

This could turn into quite a power struggle, or worse. He may start holding it and get backed up.

I'm a firm believer in positive reinforcement. A spoonful of sugar? Perhaps you might consider rewards rather than punishments. Deal with him in whatever his currency is... a special TV program, a few minutes extra playing a video game, staying up a few minutes later, a special desert... only you know what his currency is.

Good luck. And big hugs xo

Anonymous said...

As much as it hurts to do it,use pull ups while you are gone. Mo does respond to praise, so maybe the key is to praise him and don't let it become a power struggle. This might be his way of getting one on one attention, even if it is negative. Kaia doesn't seem to need it as much as the Mo man does.
You are doing a great job,but sometimes we just have to realize, in his time he will be ready.
Hang in there and have a blast on your trip.
Love Mom

Just Breathe said...

I think you plan is perfect and I hope he comes around real soon.
Then I would give him a special treat when you know he really gets it!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I think it takes boys longer to train. My Little T was four when hi finally got it!

Baby John's Mom said...

Oh boy we are in your SAME shoes! So sorry. It's frustrating. We've tried everything too. We only do the positive reinforcement (toys, treats, poopy day party and so far NADA works!) I'm ready to try ANYTHING. Good luck. Everyone tells me it happens eventually but ick. I'm sick of this diaper stuff and he's old enough to hold it when he wants to (when he doesn't have any diaper or pullup on), and poop when he wants to (when he gets that diaper on), so why shouldn't he be old enough to let it go in the toilet? It's frustrating and I totally get where you are at. Hang in there!!

Julie said...

Our Cody is FOUR years old and we are having the same problem. He has only gone twice in the potty! Going pee is not an issue for Cody either . . . just can't get him to do the BIG job on the toilet. We too are out of ideas and pretty much out of the will power too!

Ann M. Boyd said...

Hi Tysa,

That's a tough one! It sounds like you're doing a great job.

A few other people talked about positive reinforcement. I read a book a few years ago called "The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child" that had some interesting ideas in it -- mostly about positive reinforcement, but with some specific steps about explaining expectations, using reward charts, and using simulations. I wrote a review of the book awhile ago:

But whatever you do, I'm sure Mo will figure this out in his own time!

Michelle said...

we had a similar issue with Big K, and I did 2 things that worked well. One, on the advice of the ped, when he went in his pants, we didn't get angry or show emotion, we just put this big set of events in motion that Big K had to be part of....HE had to help clean...HE had to take his clothes to the hamper, then we took a shower (not a bath, bath is fun, shower is to clean). He realized it was no fun and really started coming around.

Then we added positive incentive. I made a big poster with #s on it. 10. Put it in the bathroom with his picture on it, and every time he went poop we got out a sticker and put it on a number. When we filled all the numbers he got to pick out a book at the store. This worked great!

Good luck!

Jaclyn said...

My brother had the same problem. He eventually outgrew it. I'm sorry that's not really advice, but he was a really good kid, so it wasn't like he wasn't listening. I can't remember what grade he was in, but I know he did it up until at least the second grade. He'd do it at school and his teacher was really good about understanding because her son had the same problem.