Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Who I am

I went missing for a few days, and I apologize. I've spent the last two days at a seminar called Investment in Excellence. Lou Tice is the presenter via DVD and there is a work book and facilitators from the hospital. All of the hospital staff have gone through this, including my parents. My mom loved it. When I realized that is what I was doing (I admit to going into the room Monday morning with no idea what I'd do during the 4 day seminar) I was excited.

So many of us started off believing this was really a career thing, and have found that it is a personal thing. You have to build yourself up first, before you can change what's around you. Some of what's discussed is psychology. We've had the concious and subconcious explained to us. We also had to identify our negative self-talk, the areas in our life where we aren't performing as we wish, and now we are throwing our lives out of order with affirmations. We are resetting what is normal for us. The messy house, that's not me. While our affirmations should be personal, I want to share two with you all: I take pride in cleaning my home each night. I am an organized person and enjoy the pleasant home I create.

Don't laugh, if you read often, you know that has not been true. The point is, that I say this, in the present tense. I tell myself this before I fall asleep, and after I wake up. I envision myself doing this (not watching myself doing it, but I envision it through my own eyes) and I envision how it makes me feel. Successful sports players can tell you the power of visualization. Doing this makes it my normal, what my concious and subconcious expect from me. Eventually, the messy house will be intolerable, simply because I know that I'm a cleaner more organized person than that in my head!

It may sound "new-agey" but it's not. It wasn't always fun and games either. Looking into my deepest thoughts... have you ever been in a room with 30 people and trying not to cry? There were several moments where I was doing that. And there were several moments were others were too. My big revelation, that negative self talk that I've allowed to play in my mind. I'm too skinny I'm cold I'm frigid I'm a b!tch I'm messy I'm unorganized I'm not worthy

That got me. I have allowed that tape to play in my head. Especially when anything in life is going wrong. I've been called every last one, except the unworthy, that one I seem to have told myself. No more though! I'm replacing my self-talk, as you saw in just two affirmations above.

I'm no longer going to let someone else's label be a part of who I am! I'm really looking forward to the two classes in June. I plan to keep you all updated on my progress!

We act like the person we know ourselves to be. Lou Tice


Kelli said...

It sounds like a wonderful and helpful seminar, TJ! I'm looking forward to hearing about your progress!

jennifer said...

Gosh TJ. That was amazing. PLEASE let us know how it goes.

Hard for me to picture you having self esteem issues. I don't see too skinny, I see thin and healthy. I don't think you are cold or b!tchy at all. You seem warm and friendly to me.

I hope this seminar takes root in your life and that you grow fruit from it.

Be blessed!


TJ said...

Jen you are too sweet! The class pointed out this: if we had a friend that talked to us the way the we talk to ourselves, they'd be gone and we wouldn't associate with them ever again!

We all do it, well the exception is that extremely effective people have learned to cut much of that negative self talk. I'm sure it probably pops in their heads, but they quickly end it!